By Seble Teweldebirhan (http://www.ezega.com/News/NewsDetails.aspx?Page=heads&NewsID=3017)
Last week, in the gym I got into talking with one of the trainers. We were discussing about Meron’s article on sugar daddies. The trainer told me that the article impressed him since the issue needs a serious attention from the public in order to protect our young women from destruction at a very early age.
Then one thing led to another and our discussion became about rich and successful women who usually visit the gym. It was at this point that he told me, although the issue might not be as much as sugar daddies, there is also concern about sugar mommies that he witnessed around him. According to him, educated and rich women usually come to the gym not only to exercise but also to pick up younger men. This actually surprised me because I thought our culture is too tight for women to do something like this, especially in public.
However, he explained. “Some of them are educated and they spent most of their youth in schools. Some got married sugar daddies and the husbands got old while these women are still young. So, they will look to other places to fulfill their needs. There are also women who married rich men they do not really like. Therefore, they start looking for some young good-looking men just for the sex. They have the money for that,” he said.
Then I asked him if he could introduce me to someone who dates a sugar mommy. He called one of the people who was exercising in the gym and explained the issue to him. The person agreed to talk to me as long as I do not mention his name in my articles. I agreed. He told me to call him Teddy for this purpose.
He is a 25-year young man. Tall and athletic, he is probably the most attractive man in that gym. He told me that he is currently studying to become an accountant. His sugar mommy claims to be 45, but he thinks she is a lot older than that. “I first met her in a wedding. I have never thought things will turn out like this. She was very nice to me and she offered me a job. I was happy because I was unemployed at the time. After I worked for her for a while, she said it is better if I go to college so that she would give me a better job. We didn’t have any sexual relationship at this time. I joined collage and it was after that I understood she was looking more than just a friend. I did not hesitate to fulfill her needs since I owe her a lot. She wants me to be the best I can and I really admire her for that. She even forced me to join this gym and to work out. She tells me to take my education seriously, she takes care of me and what more do I want,” he smiled.
I asked him if she is married. “She was,” he said. ”She got divorced about two years ago. Her husband is old and I do not think she likes him at all. They have three children, but fortunately they all live abroad.” I also asked him if the age difference bothers him at all. “At first it did bother me a lot. I thought I was the only one who dates a woman older than his own mom. However, especially after I joined this gym, I learned there are many who do the same. I met many people who are my age and have sugar mommies. Now I am used to it and it does not bother me much. Only some times, when we go in public and people stare that I feel uncomfortable,” he said.
I also asked if he has plans for the future with her. “I am not going to marry her if that is what you are asking,” he smiled. “Nevertheless, I do not really worry much about the future. Right now I am focused on my school and my workouts,”
Teddy was kind enough to introduce me to another man who also has a sugar mommy. He also instructed me not to use his real name and told me to use Abush as his name. Abush is a 28-year man who likes to call himself a musician. He plays drum and he says he has a plan to go a long way and be successful as a drummer. His sugar mommy is in her late 50s and he is certain she is not lying about her age. “I met her about a year a go in this very gym. She used to ask me to show her this and that and we started talking, and we became friends.”
Abush thinks dating Sugar’s is different for men than women. “For women it’s more tricky and complicated. Usually women who date sugar daddies are teenagers who are not in a position to make wise decisions or to be careful in many aspects. Sugar daddies take this advantage and ruin the lives of many young women. In our cases, we are mostly old enough to make wise decisions and to understand the consequence of our actions.”
The thing with Abush is so complicated that he claims he has a girl friend that he loves very much. “I have been together with my girl friend for the last three years. She is the one I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with.” I asked him if she knew that he has a sugar mommy. “No, she does not know. I do not want her to know. I feel like I am doing this for both of us. I am saving money now so that we will have a better life in the future,” he said.
I asked Abush how often he met people like him who dates older rich women. “It’s common these days,” he said. “I have friends who do the same thing I do. Gym is a nice place to meet these women and so many young men are coming knowing this opportunity. There is even a competition to get the richest women in the house,” he laughed.
I wondered if Sugar Mommies hang out around schools like the daddies do. However, Teddy told me that it is highly unlikely. “I don’t think any adult woman wants to have a sexual relationship with a teenager. Older women wouldn’t do that,” he said. Abush and the trainer agreed with him. However, my curiosity forced me to talk to my cousin, who is a freshman at Addis Ababa University. “I hear this happens,” he said. “I’ve never experienced it first hand but there are students who I hear date older rich women.”
Seble Teweldebirhan is Addis Ababa based Reporter for Ezega.com. She can be reached by sending email through this form.